Full Housewifery Disclosure

Today at Life of a Housewife, I'll be letting you in on a few embarrassing secrets. First off, on my drivers license, it says I'm 5' 3." I'm not actually 5' 3," but 5' 2.75." Secondly, I occasionally use my lack of height to uh...well, you could say, play dumb. My mom is also short, and also used to occasionally play dumb. For her, it was the top of the refrigerator. Who knew what was up there, but she couldn't see it, (and neither could I, for all that goes,) so what she didn't know, couldn't hurt her. We keep our refrigerator pretty much cleared off, but I have my own version of her refrigerator.

I've mentioned in previous posts that our house is a little...uh, quirky. Well, part of that quirkiness is this little ledge thing that's above the oven. I understand why it's there, but I don't understand why it's there. If that makes sense. This ledge, is my refrigerator. The picture above is taken exactly from my eye level. See, I have no idea what's up there. Every once in awhile, I'll think that maybe I should actually drag a chair over to see what's up there, but then I think, "Do I really want to know?" and never do it. Well, ladies and gentlemen, today was the day. I gathered up the courage to stand up on a chair and see what everyone over eh, 5' 5" has seen for oh, about 9 months....but who's counting? Let me tell you, it was not pretty. Ready? Brace yourselves....

Ahhhhh!!!!!! The horrors! To think of all the people that have come over to our house and seen this. Ick. Sorry, everyone! I don't even know what all was up there, but I'm pretty sure it'd been up there for years. It was, shall we say, gooey, with a little bit of fuzz. Kinda like a rotten peach mixed with tar. Oh, and it smelled a little funky too. Although, come to think of it, so would a rotten peach mixed with tar, so we'll just stick with that description. While Noah was playing, and William was exploring the kitchen, I went ahead and grabbed my spray bottle of water/vinegar, my new-found love, and went to town. I even brought out the big guns, aka baking soda, for this one. Twenty minutes of scrubbing, a little vacuuming with my Dust-Buster, and it was all clean.

Ta-da! Not even a hint of grey....or fuzz. Then it was time to clean up, which brings me to the next part of the story. Last week we went on a little excursion to Target to pick up a spray bottle. I, being the Best Mommy Ever, complete with the cape, grabbed an extra spray bottle because I knew Noah would like to play with it. It holds more water than a squirt gun, and sprays farther than most the ones that he could use anyways.

This is my spray bottle with the vinegar/water solution in it. Apparently, while I was scrubbing away on my perch, Noah was paying very close attention to what I was doing, and when I went into the living room, I found this.

I couldn't help but laugh...and grab the camera. :D He must have thought the ottoman/toy boxwas dirty. He's got his spray bottle, just like mine, he managed to swipe the baking soda when I wasn't looking, and he had the Dust Buster, which I did give to him, because he's not old enough to know that he's not supposed to like vacuuming.

This just made me laugh even more. :)

Now you all know my secrets- I'm not actually 5' 3," I play dumb occasionally, and I don't hover over my kids ever second of every day.

If you give a mouse a cookie... (or a light fixture)

Since we moved in to our house, I've wanted to replace the light fixture above our kitchen sink. It would be fine if say, it were still 1980, but (thankfully) it's not. My neighbor confirmed for me today that it is in fact the original fixture, only, it was an upgrade, because hers was just a plain white milkglass, and mine was textured. Wooooooo-wheeee! If I were to try to sell it today, the I would describe it as "art-deco" code word for "ugly." (Sorry all of you art-deco lovers out there. I just don't get it.)

Back to the story. I've been wanting to upgrade it to a pendant light, but didn't want to dish out the moo-la for it. Instead, I've been checking the Habitat Re-Store hoping to find one there. This last trip, I found one! One I actually liked too. Only the mounting plate was missing. I figured I cou go next door to Lowes, and pick one up for a couple bucks, so I went ahead and bought it. I thought wrong.

You see, the light fixture manufacturer hates me. This particular pendant light, is hung on the mounting plate from the sides of the canopy, which means that it needs a special mounting plate. Grrr... While waiting (...and waiting...and waiting.....) for someone at Lowes to help me, I happened to notice in the clearance section that there was a light similar to mine, that had the mounting plate that I needed. Not cool man, not cool- having what I need, but attached to something I don't. When Mr. Lowes Helper Guy told me that he didn't have anything like what I needed, and didn't know where I could get one, I showed him the plate attached to the clearance light that I'd found to explain to him that that is what I need. Mr. Lowes Helper Guy then told me that since I only needed the mounting plate, and not the whole fixture, he could mark down the clearance light from the $13.99 that is was priced at, to just a couple bucks, just for me, and that's exactly what he did.

I thought that now I'd be all set to put up my new lamp. How wrong I was. After taking down my old light, I discovered that the old electrical box in my ceiling was no longer completely in the ceiling. It was hanging out past the ceiling by about 3/4 of an inch, which meant that putting up my light had to wait yet another day.

Yesterday, on my way to the gym, I stopped at OSH (my favorite of the three home-improvement stores because I never have to hunt down a Mr. Helper Guy- they (plural) come to me) to pick up an old work box for the ceiling, and then this morning while William took his morning nap, I put it in, and finally got to put up my new light.

This is what is left of the old box. I broke it out with pliers because that's how I roll. There's probably a better way to do it, but I have, at this point, a limited number of tools, so this is how I do it. Don't worry, I wore gloves since there was insulation falling out of the ceiling. Into my sink.

The new box all put in and flush with the ceiling. Imagine that! As you can see, the ceiling still needs some work. The old light fixture had damaged the ceiling, so I patched that already, but now I need to patch around the box and do the whole spray-the-texture-stuff thing to make it all blend in before I paint it. Oh, and I need to get paint. Minor detail.

The new light, all semi-flush like it's supposed to be. Just think how much better it'll look once I finish painting around the canopy? I left the tag on so that I know what kind of light bulb to get, but after I get one, it'll be coming off. Next kitchen project- painting the cabinets. I'm thinking fall would be a good time for that. You know, when it's below 100 degrees?

Oh, how I love thee

This little shelf started out in the garbage one Saturday morning, only to be put out at a yardsale later that day to see if anyone wanted her. I drove by that particular yardsale, and stopped ONLY because I saw this lonely little shelf leaned up against the house. That's how this shelf ended up coming home with me. I've been excited about this one, but obviously not excited enough to actually take pictures of it and put it up for sale. Maybe I subconsciously wanted to keep it, for no other reason than to just look at the knob on it. I love the knob on it. Tonight was the night however, that I took pictures, and put it up for sale. This is the shelf that is the button to my Etsy Store ( The Shabby Corner) up there on the right. I like it so much, it's there always on my blog. Now for the unveiling-

A Letter of Apology

Dear Vinegar,

I feel that I owe you my deep and sincerest apologies. All these years, I've severely underestimated you. I have to admit, I'd heard others talk about you, and your amazing cleaning abilities, but I secretly thought to myself, "Why would all these companies make cleaning products, if all you had to use was vinegar?" Now I know- those products are for the idiots like me. Countless times, I've reached past you to grab my beloved all-purpose cleaner, only to be left frustrated when it would leave me wanting more. Now I know I should have wrapped my hand around YOUR bottle.

You know I love you. While all the other little kids in Subway would order their Kids Meals by saying, "Mayo and extra cheese, please!" and grabbed the bag of BBQ chips, I was the one saying "oil, and extra vinegar, please!" before eagerly grabbing my favorite blue bag full of salt and vinegar goodness. All my pregnancies, you called my name, and I kept you nearby to comfort me in my time of need.

Through all of that, I still never let you live up to your full potential in my life, and for that, I am truly and deeply sorry. I hope you can forgive me, even after all these years have gone by.

Humbly and apologetically yours,

Hannah