Friday, August 12, 2011

Full Housewifery Disclosure

Today at Life of a Housewife, I'll be letting you in on a few embarrassing secrets. First off, on my drivers license, it says I'm 5' 3." I'm not actually 5' 3," but 5' 2.75." Secondly, I occasionally use my lack of height to uh...well, you could say, play dumb. My mom is also short, and also used to occasionally play dumb. For her, it was the top of the refrigerator. Who knew what was up there, but she couldn't see it, (and neither could I, for all that goes,) so what she didn't know, couldn't hurt her. We keep our refrigerator pretty much cleared off, but I have my own version of her refrigerator.

I've mentioned in previous posts that our house is a little...uh, quirky. Well, part of that quirkiness is this little ledge thing that's above the oven. I understand why it's there, but I don't understand why it's there. If that makes sense. This ledge, is my refrigerator. The picture above is taken exactly from my eye level. See, I have no idea what's up there. Every once in awhile, I'll think that maybe I should actually drag a chair over to see what's up there, but then I think, "Do I really want to know?" and never do it. Well, ladies and gentlemen, today was the day. I gathered up the courage to stand up on a chair and see what everyone over eh, 5' 5" has seen for oh, about 9 months....but who's counting? Let me tell you, it was not pretty. Ready? Brace yourselves....

Ahhhhh!!!!!! The horrors! To think of all the people that have come over to our house and seen this. Ick. Sorry, everyone! I don't even know what all was up there, but I'm pretty sure it'd been up there for years. It was, shall we say, gooey, with a little bit of fuzz. Kinda like a rotten peach mixed with tar. Oh, and it smelled a little funky too. Although, come to think of it, so would a rotten peach mixed with tar, so we'll just stick with that description. While Noah was playing, and William was exploring the kitchen, I went ahead and grabbed my spray bottle of water/vinegar, my new-found love, and went to town. I even brought out the big guns, aka baking soda, for this one. Twenty minutes of scrubbing, a little vacuuming with my Dust-Buster, and it was all clean.

Ta-da! Not even a hint of grey....or fuzz. Then it was time to clean up, which brings me to the next part of the story. Last week we went on a little excursion to Target to pick up a spray bottle. I, being the Best Mommy Ever, complete with the cape, grabbed an extra spray bottle because I knew Noah would like to play with it. It holds more water than a squirt gun, and sprays farther than most the ones that he could use anyways.

This is my spray bottle with the vinegar/water solution in it. Apparently, while I was scrubbing away on my perch, Noah was paying very close attention to what I was doing, and when I went into the living room, I found this.

I couldn't help but laugh...and grab the camera. :D He must have thought the ottoman/toy boxwas dirty. He's got his spray bottle, just like mine, he managed to swipe the baking soda when I wasn't looking, and he had the Dust Buster, which I did give to him, because he's not old enough to know that he's not supposed to like vacuuming.

This just made me laugh even more. :)

Now you all know my secrets- I'm not actually 5' 3," I play dumb occasionally, and I don't hover over my kids ever second of every day.

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